Several months ago I heard someone say, “Don’t let what you can’t do change what you can do.”
The truth is that there are lots of times when I do let what I can’t do limit me further than it has to. Sometimes this happens in small ways. For example, if I have to leave to go somewhere in 15 minutes. I’ll feel that I don’t have enough time to make a lot of progress on anything, so I’ll just find a way to waste that time. It’s true that I can’t get two hours of work done in that time, but I could get 15 minutes of something productive done.
There are other times when I find that things in one area of my life aren’t going the way that I wish they were. At times, I tend to dwell on the thing that isn’t working rather than refocusing my energy into something that I could be making go well.
There are so many ways I could apply this advice to my life. Like with being pregnant: there are things I can’t do or that I’m not supposed to do. For example, I’m not supposed to be out riding my bike on the trails I like because I like to ride places that there’s a pretty good risk that I could crash and hurt the baby. But I could be out riding on easier trails and there are plenty of other forms of exercise I can do. (To be fair to myself, I have still been somewhat active and the chaos of moving has impacted my exercise schedule too.)
There are a lot of other things I can think of that I won’t be able to do once I’m a mom. Sometimes, I feel a little down about those things. The problem is that thinking that way makes me more likely to let the things I can’t do become the focus and limit me from the things I can do.
I need to find a way to remember not to let what I can’t do change the things I can.
2 Responses
The thing that no prospective parent gets is how fast being a parent is going to go by. Yes, there may be things that you cannot do for a year or two or maybe even six or seven. But after that, you’ll be able to do those things again. Maybe, if it’s something big like travel around the country by yourself, it’ll be more like 20 years. But the time is going to go by faster than you imagine and there really is nothing that you can do now that you won’t be able to do as a parent eventually. Plus a whole bunch of things that you can do as a parent that you’d never get the chance to do as a non-parent. Frankly, I really miss playing on playgrounds, which I did a ton of when my son was under six.
Thank you Sarah. I admit that I do like playing on the occasional playground- if I can catch them when there aren’t other people around to see! You’re right that there are a lot of things that I will be able to do as a parent that I can’t (or wouldn’t) do without a child.