Well, my big news (which I honestly feel only half ready to share) is that I am pregnant, due in August.
The standard reply to this announcement is ‘Congratulations!’ Which seems somehow far too simple to acknowledge the myriad emotions that accompany pregnancy. It is this very exciting, happy thing that is somehow the very essence of the force of life. It is also confusing, overwhelming, and incredibly scary. It threatens to change most everything about my life and even about who I am.
The first few months I felt miserable with nearly constant nausea and ever-present exhaustion. My mind was telling me that I had so much to do to prepare and yet my body was making it clear that I was lucky to get the bare minimum done for each day. Blogging was on my mind and certainly there’s been a lot of emotions, a lot of new experiences, and a lot of new thoughts that writing could help me process or to share. But I just didn’t have the energy and I wasn’t ready to share.
Finally most of the nausea has passed and I feel much more like I am able to tackle life, which is good because I still have so much to do. I’m ready to get back to posting, even as I try to figure out how this is going to change my blog. I don’t want this to become a mommy blog, writing about the best baby shampoo or how to get a baby on a regular sleep schedule. I’m sure that I’ll be appreciating that those blogs are out there, but I don’t want mine to be that way. I want the sort of blog that a non-parent would like to read too.
I want to keep the travel and the adventure and the fun. I’m not sure exactly what direction things will take with my writing here. Certainly becoming a mom will have some influence on my writing, but I want to keep this as a place where I can express myself. And not myself as Kyla the mom, but just Kyla. Maybe that’s just me trying to hold on to an old me that feels very much like it won’t survive this. Maybe I’ll find some success in keeping that old me. Or maybe new me will be somebody I like even more.
Anyway, I hope/plan to get back to posting a bit more.
8 Responses
Grandma says, “can’t wait!”
Me neither!
Wow, that is huge news! Congratulations, Kyla!
I am so glad I thought to check your blog today. We have just done a massive relocation from the US to the UK (which was pretty exhausting with two kids to be honest) and I wanted to check in and see how you were doing. I am very excited for you but also understand that it can be an anxious time.
I have two boys, both under the age of four. I too didn’t want my blog to be purely a “mommy” one, even though I started it when my first boy was still a baby. It has been predominantly travel and recipes and lifestyle stuff, but not a huge amount about kids (except for some “travel with kids” stuff). I felt the same with the way you described what you wanted for your own blog; similarly my vision for my own blog was to write something that non-parents would also like to read.
You will soon see how your blog evolves over time and what direction it will take. As for the “adventure and fun”, you are about to get huge amounts of both of these things becoming a parent. It is totally possible to travel with a baby (I can share plenty of information with you on this), and you don’t have to let things change TOO much, even though in some ways they inevitably will.
I agree with what Sarah wrote above, that your life will change in some amazing ways; especially looking at things through new eyes… My best way to describe it is that feeling you had as a kid at Christmas/Birthday (or equivalent) that is so super exciting, well, it is really only topped in life by the feeling you get watching your own child experience their own Birthday or Christmas for the very first time.
I wish you all the very best with the rest of your pregnancy and the big life journey you are currently embarking on. Please write to me if you have any questions about parenthood, travel with kids, or mental health and well-being; I will be happy to share with you and look forward to hearing about your experiences.
By the way, it is normal to feel fatigued and exhausted at different stages of pregnancy (and when you have a newborn, or even with older children). The good news is it will come and go, and you will have other times where you feel amazing!
I will be thinking of you over the months ahead.
Bridget x x
Thank you Bridget.
I can only imagine how exhausting moving with young kids must be, but I hope you’re getting more settled in now.
I really appreciate your insights on parenthood. It’s encouraging to hear that travel is possible with little ones, although I still feel a bit intimidated by it. Of course, being in charge of a little one without traveling is still intimidating to me too. I’m realizing that I can try to imagine how things will be once I’m a mom, but the trust is I really have no idea what it’s going to be like.
Congratulations
Thank you.
Congratulations!
And yes, that is the simple reply to an immense change, but you’re about to embark on what is likely to be the most exciting, interesting, and just plain fun adventure of your life. I don’t know how many countries I’d been to before my son was born — a dozen, maybe? — but nothing I’d done in my previous life compared to the wonder of watching my own child discover the world. Suddenly everything you take for granted becomes magical.
There will be times when it seems overwhelming; the important thing to remember in those moments is that they won’t last. Kids grow faster than you can believe while you’re in the thick of it and they change constantly. It seems like everyone looks at parenting and thinks about diapers, but really, that stage is incredibly brief. Most of parenting is about spending time with a small person whose company you really enjoy.
And you won’t be exactly the same person, but you will still be someone you recognize. Before my son was born, I was a pacifist. Anti-death penalty, anti-violence… I could say with conviction that even to save my own life, I wouldn’t hurt someone else. My son was born and suddenly I realized that I would kill without compunction anyone who threatened him. But it wasn’t like I suddenly didn’t recognize myself, more like his birth revealed depths to me that I hadn’t known I had. It is life-changing, no doubt about that, but it’s also intensely rewarding. And enormously fun. And so I say again, congratulations!
Hmmm…. I certainly hope my small person turns out to be somebody whose company I really enjoy.
Thank you for such a thoughtful comment- it was very encouraging to read. I realize there is definitely a lot that I’m starting to look forward to, even while some of it remains totally scary and overwhelming.